It’s About Time there was a Film About Time

It’s not often I go to a cinema, and even more rare that I go to a Kino, but last week I went for it and actually saw what one could call a current film.

As usual, I went into the film with a few negative thoughts in my mind, but the moment I heard the opening lines spoken in a British accent, my heart was softened. I’m not some sort of anti-internationalist, but it’s so rare to see a British film these days it really is quite something when one turns up.

As I suspected, the film was indeed About Time, as well as manic playwrights, literal blind dating and the sea side. Another thing that gave About Time instant brownie points was that it wasn’t immediately set in London, you actually got to see another slab of England for a change. Though when they chose to set the rest of the film in London I was a little disappointed, those outwith the Island will never learn that we don’t shop at Harrods every day if they don’t set a film somewhere above the midlands. However, it was nice to see some black taxis rather than the bright yellow ones that are dominating the TV screens these days.

For a film to grab my heart, which is highly unlikely, it normally has to contain an awkward but lovable protagonist, be British and be about the real world but with a twist – I think this film has it covered.

Tim the time travelling protagonist was indeed very awkward, but of course that just makes you love the bloke. Although he was a favourite, nobody was going to outshine Bill Nighy. The fact that he used his time travelling abilities simply to read more books instantly made going to the cinema worth something. Forget going back in time to save your friend’s play from failing or going to find your true love, read books, that’s what time’s for.

As I have admitted in previous reviews, a good film is one that can make me anxious, and this one managed to. The number of times Tim went back in time and changed things I didn’t want him to change, and then the few moments I thought he might actually have sacrificed everything he’d ever lived for to rescue his reckless sister had me in a flap. Of course this meant the film was very good.

The film also had quite a few chuckle moments which is always a bonus, the raging playwright made the trip worthwhile, but again, Bill Nighy seemed to have the best lines. Although good ole Bill certainly had the comedy factor, he was also the moral compass of the film. If you want to learn to appreciate your family a bit more – Bill has a few tips. He also professes that he has ‘never met a rich man who is genuinely happy’ – neither have I Bill.

Was there anything that irritated me about this film? Of course, yet for some reason I was willing and able to look beyond its many imperfections, which is not something I am usually able to do.

When I enjoy a film, it’s difficult to explain why, it’s just not something I am used to. But for the accurate portrayal of British weather, a less stereotyped than usual protagonist and a Dickens loving Bill Nighy, I say: 18/20.

I Broke a Rule: Incredible

The Incredibles: If unincredible were a word, I’d use it. I hate to give the game away so soon, but the positive box of compliments I am yet to open concerning this film is limited, so it’s probably best to save them.

As so often happens in my short film experiencing life, I was fooled with high expectations. I also fooled myself into watching a super hero film, thus breaking one of very few rules in this pursuit to find joy in films. I won’t be doing it again any time soon…

What wasn’t to like in this film? According to The National Review Online, the film ‘ celebrates marriage, courage, responsibility, and high achievement.’ Hang on, Mr Incredible lies to his wife, crushes the hopes and dreams of a young child, puts his boss in hospital and congratulates his son’s poor behaviour. I think this reviewer was sent the wrong disc… The dodgy values of this guy were enough for the film to gain my dislike. Yes, I know the dysfunction of the family unit was exaggerated to reflect how they’d changed and united by the end, but it was pretty ridiculous.

One of the worst parts of the film was that whilst the majority of the family were out and about in some heroic attempt to rescue each other, they left the baby behind. As much as I’m sure that a bomb filled environment isn’t the first place one would take one’s infant for the weekend, it was just far too obvious that the film’s creators had left the baby out of this part of the film because they just didn’t know what to do with it. Zero points for creativity there.

Were there any positive elements to this film? Of course, if they hadn’t’ve invented Edna Mode, the film would have been in tatters. Of course I hate the all too obvious fashion related name, but I got over that, as I love to see a small person with a lot of power. She gets life, she gets things done and whips everybody into shape – an efficient character is what I like to see.

Was there anything else to like about the film? I did enjoy the four clocks on Mr Incredible’s old boss’ wall that showed the exact same time, and I did enjoy the scene in which all the soaking books were being dried out with a hair dryer, but that was about it, well, maybe except for the out of proportion tables and chairs that appeared from time to time, I liked those too.

I’m not usually too technical with these reviews, but the continuity was shocking. There were far too many all too convenient coincidences and then creatures you’d never seen before just popped up out of nowhere as if you’d seen them around all the time.

It’s lovely that someone attempted to make a film that shows how a family eventually comes together after many tumultuous struggles, but this film promoted too much dishonesty for my liking. They even showed the family becoming happier as the Father decided to shape up and lose some weight, what’s that teaching anyone?

I am sorry to say that this film receives my worst score in history as it stands: 4.8/20.

‘It’s a time machine… I know it’s a time machine…’

The Pursuit of Happyness – I’m mad because I can’t write a scathing review. I’m mad that I can’t even comment on the appalling spelling of the title; as the protagonist is just as angry about it as I would be. I’m mad because it was a good film (an adjective and noun I rarely ever use in conjunction with one another) and I can’t even explain why, but I’ll try.

‘It’s a time machine… I know it’s a time machine…’ This is a quote from a crazy old man in the film, but even though he’s crazy, I do feel kind of sorry for him. There was in fact no evidence in the film to suggest that at least one of the bone-density scanners the protagonist was selling wasn’t a time machine, so I’ll keep that small hope for the guy.

I’m trying really hard to think of things about the film that irritated me, but that’s just not happening right now. They got rid of my least favourite character, Linda, quite early on and only made her pop up a few times, so she really didn’t get on my nerves too much. One thing I think most people would expect me to find irritating is  the unrealistic notion of a man getting a job based on his Rubik’s Cube solving capabilities, but that worked for me, if a man can solve a Rubik’s Cube, give him a job, he’s earned it.

I’m normally quite a stressed person, so watching a film that was stressful to watch actually worked quite well. Chris is usually getting in a flap about something at almost every point in the film, so it kept me pretty anxious most of the time. Most people would see this as a negative thing, but if a film can make me feel stressed it’s probably very good.

I can’t go through the review without mentioning Christopher. Exactly what didn’t happen with Toothless in How to Train Your Dragon happened with Christopher in this film – I became emotionally attached to him, and there was nothing I could do about it. I even became a nervous wreck when he dropped his Captain America figure on the road, and I hate super heroes.

Maybe another reason I enjoyed the film is that Chris isn’t one of those film stereotyped stock characters who loses everything, whinges about it for over half of the film and then gets help from a rich Aunt, he actually gets off his backside, looks after his child and does something about his jobless situation – that’s the definition of a real man.

Somehow, this film managed to suck me in and I was forced to enjoy it. I think it’s on the list for all men who ever wish to become fathers – this guy generally seems to know what he’s doing, most of the time.

Giving this film a rating seems impossible, was it perfection, or did it just fool me into thinking it was a good film? Of that I can never be sure. So, to be safe: 17/20

 

 

Dragon: Train your to…how?

How to Train Your Dragon: Richie’s choice, and I was actually looking forward to it. But, alas, it was not all I had anticipated.

Yes, there were highs, but some of the lows went as low as Toothless did when he attempted a Wronski Feint (See Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire if you don’t understand).

The first clip I ever saw of the film, back in 2010 in Wiesbaden, proved to be promising. I remember an adorable little dragon and a misunderstood young fellow who really wanted to prove himself to his father and his community, but it really wasn’t what I remembered.

When I first heard the Scottish accents, I thought it was going to be Brave all over again, but no, somehow all of these Scottish Vikings have American children, how does that work? Before anyone says it, I do understand. I understand the film needs to sell to an American audience. I understand that perhaps the adults all being Scottish and the youth being American symbolises that they are not yet what their parents are. But it still doesn’t make sense. Surely in such a tight knit community, everyone would share at least a similar accent.

Although the accent issue was quite a big deal, I did enjoy all of the broomstick-esque dragon flying. Hiccup would be a great Seeker if he tried. Speaking of Hiccup, I did admire his lack of violent behaviour towards dragons, he’s kind of the Hagrid figure in the story, only slightly less large in stature. Other Harry Potter links include the big massive beast of a dragon at the end. At first I thought it was a bit unjust for all the townsfolk to treat the other dragons with kindness and then harass the super massive one, but then with the assistance of Richie, I figured that the beastly dragon’s probably Voldemort, and the other dragons are probably like Draco Malfoy having fear kicked into them and promises of much misery if they do not obey. So I suppose it’s kind of fair enough that the large dragon got a beating.

I really wanted to grow to love toothless, but it just didn’t really happen (sorry Jordan). He’s of a decent character and I would go into battle with him on my side if I ever needed to, but I expected to grow attached to him, but no.

Hiccup was a bit of a hero for me, not fully, but a bit, as everyone automatically thinks that small people don’t have brains, but they do, they really do.

The film had quite a few funnies which is always a bonus, but it was glittered with quite a bit of cheese, but I do have to accept that that will always be the case in a film for young folk.

All in all, I did have a good hour and a half, I enjoyed making Harry Potter links, but the lack of accent continuation was quite a big issue.

Overall verdict: 9.5/20

“Brave” – “Brave” was gid, ken whit I mean?

“Brave” – I actually chose this one. All by myself. That’s an achievement already. 

The film proved to be promising at the start. Lots of Scottish accents, no technology, a witch and a lack of American English – perfection. I should probably look up to real people instead of cartoon characters – but Merida’s certainly going on my list of inspirational illustrations – anyone who refuses to become betrothed in such a way does. 

The film was all going jolly well, however, the minute the girl’s mother turned into a bear, I became very much confused. At first I think it was just unexpected, but as the film went on, I still couldn’t get my head around the concept that a woman had just turned into a bear. 

The story was pretty good though, I was kind of gutted when the witch decided to go on holiday to Stornaway, but I suppose she needed a break, witches do work hard after all. 

The whole bear thing continued to be a bit of a problem, but the jokes, gags and puns kept me going. My favourite line of the film continues to be  ‘I can see me hoose from here.’ – I don’t know why, but it is definitely the highlight of the film. 

By the end of the film, I had kind of become used to the idea that the mother was now a bear, so it was almost a surprise when she became de-beared, as I’d completely forgotten what she looked like. 

Overall, I was sufficiently entertained, and I enjoyed the Scottishness and Medievalness, but the bear thing’s still getting to me. 

Overall score: 13.5/20 (That’s a 2:1 in St Andrews style). 

Introduction to the life of a film hater

I hate films. End of. 

HOWEVER, much to my dismay, my friends have decided it’s time to change. I am being forced (yes, forced) to work my way through a never ending list of films, to be completed before graduation in June 2015 – Impossible. 

Thankfully, there are several rules which will make this a slightly less painful experience:

1. No Super Hero Films
2. I get to choose every other film, but it has to be from ‘The List’ (Which gets longer every time I turn my back!) 

So far the list covers seven sticky notes, and I am sure that my door will be covered in them before the end of the month. 

Until my first film review (if I survive), over and out.